“We Awake In the Night in the Womb of the World”

May 14, 2013

The above title is the first line in the refrain of Andrew Peterson’s “Come Back Soon.” On Sunday my old and dear friend Dean Barham, in his morning sermon at Woodmont Hills, alerted me to Peterson’s music and particularly this line. It has stuck with me for a few days now.

Yesterday I read Keith Brenton’s funeral eulogy for his wife. He has decided with faith and courage to grieve with hope. I grieved with my friend, prayed for his family, and protested her death.

April 30 to May 22 has become a season of lament for me. April 30th is the anniversary of my first wife’s death (Sheila), May 10 is my deceased father’s birthday, May 21 is the anniversary of the death of my son (Joshua), and May 22 is the anniversary of my first marriage. In the last five years my emotions during this time have been particularly evident to me as I have attempted to face my grief.

But I recognize that my lament is only a small part of the larger dimensions of sorrow within the world. The Psalms evidence this range of lament–lament for evil and injustice and lament over our own sins as well as lament over disease and death. It is not only the lament of an individual but the lament of communities, ethnicities, nations, and, indeed, the whole world.

We all “awake in the night.” At some point we all lose our innocence, and we realize the world is often a dark, lonely, and broken place. “Every death,” Peterson sings, “is a question mark.”

“We awake in the night,” and the refrain continues,

We beat our fists on the door
We cannot breathe in this sea that swirls
So we groan in this great darkness
For deliverance
Deliverance, O Lord.

Peterson’s language evokes Biblical images of chaos (sea and darkness) against which humanity protests (fists). “We awake in the night” when we lose our innocence and experience creation’s chaos.

Existentially, I had my awakening on April 30, 1980. I’ve had several since then as well–some due to tragedy, some due to my own sin and brokenness. But the groan remains the same….”we groan in the darkness” and we cry “for deliverance.” “So,” Peterson sings, “we kick in the womb and we beg to be born.”

We beg to be born. It is “in the womb of the world” where we awake, where we beg, where we groan. We cry for this broken creation to give birth to a new one.

The last song, “Don’t You Want to Thank Someone For This,” on the CD (“Light for the Lost Boy”) brings this yearning to a climax.

There is lament. “Can’t you feel it in your bones, something isn’t right here.”

But there is also joy. The sun comes up every morning, Spring follows Winter, and “beauty abounds.”

There is awakening. Though it is in the night, it is in the womb. Though we cry “How long?” we also pray “Come back soon.” And “when the world is new again,” then the children of the King will sing on, and their mourning will be turned to dancing.

“Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
Come back soon!”


New Epublication

December 27, 2011

My new epub book, Meeting God at the Shack: A Journey into Spiritual Recovery, is now available on both the Nook and the Kindle.  Below is the first chapter.

_________

Chapter One

What Kind of Book is the Shack?

I will open my mouth with a parable, I will teach you lessons from the past.

Psalm 78:2 (TNIV)

While some have perhaps read The Shack as an actual account, the title page identifies the piece as a “novel.” This is a fictional story. But…it is nevertheless true.

When Paul Young talks about his book, he identifies it as an extended modern parable. Like a parable, the events described are fictional though possible (that is, it is not science fiction). And, like a parable, it becomes a world into which we step to hear something true about God, life and the soul.

The Prodigal Son (Luke 15), for example, is a fictional but true story. As fiction the story has no correspondence in fact, that is, it is not a story about a specific, actual family. No one walked up to Jesus after the parable to ask the name of the son, which family he came from and into which “far country” he went. Whether it is actual history or not is irrelevant. It is a fictional tale. But the story is nevertheless true. The Prodigal Son says something true about God and his relationship with his children.

A parabolic story draws the listener or reader into the world of the parable so that we can see something from a particular angle. A parable is not comprehensive theology, but a story-shaped way of saying a particular thing. As a piece of art rather than didactic prose, it allows a person to hear that point in an emotional as well as intellectual way. It gives us imagery, metaphor, and pictures to envision the truth rather than merely describing it in prose. Rather than analyzing propositions, we become part of a parable’s narrative. We are free to experience our own life again as we are guided by the storyteller.

Parables, as the parables of Jesus often do, sucker-punch us so that we begin to see something we had not previously seen about ourselves, God or the world. They speak to us emotionally in ways that pure prose does not usually do, much like music, art and poetry are expressive in ways that transcend discursive or academic descriptions. This enables the right side (the artsy side) of our brains to connect with what the left side (the analytical side) of our brain thinks about. We can feel these truths rather than simply think about them. As a result those truths can connect with our guts (our core beliefs about ourselves) in ways that our intellect cannot reach. The truths, then, can settle into our hearts as well as our minds.

The Shack is, I think, a piece of serious theological reflection in parabolic form. It is not a systematic theology. It does not cover every possible topic nor reflect on God from every potential angle. That is not its intent. That would be too much to expect from a parable. The “Prodigal Son,” for example, is not a comprehensive teaching about God.

Rather, the focus of The Shack is rather narrow. Fundamentally, given my own experience and hearing Young talk about his intent, I read the book as answering this question:

How do wounded people journey through their hurt to truly believe in their gut that God really loves them despite the condition of their “shack”?

The parable is about how we feel about ourselves in our own “shacks.” Do we really believe—deep in our guts, not just in our heads—that God is “especially fond” of us? How can God love us when our “shacks” are a mess? The parable addresses these feelings, self-images and woundedness.

The theology of The Shack engages us at this level. It encourages us to embrace the loving relationship into which God invites us. Consequently, it does not answer every question, address every aspect of God’s nature or reflect on every topic of Christian theology. Instead, it zeros in on the fundamental way in which wounded souls erect barriers that muzzle the divine invitation to loving relationship.

When reading The Shack as serious theological reflection, it is important to keep in mind two key points. First, Young wrote the story to share his own journey into spiritual recovery with his kids. His family recognizes that he is “Mack,” that Missy is his own lost childhood, and Mack’s encounter with God over a weekend is a telescoped parable of his own ten year journey to find healing. It is a story into which Young’s children could enter to understand their father’s journey from tragedy to hope, from barrenness to relationship with God.

Second, it is serious theology in that he shares a vision of God that is at the root of his healing. The parable teaches truth–the truth he came to believe through the process of his own recovery and healing. The “truth,” however, is not that God is an African American woman (a metaphor which has angered some). That is simply a parabolic form. Rather, the truth is that God is “especially fond” of Paul (Mack) despite his “shack” (his “stuff”).

This message, once it found a publisher, became available for others beyond his children. It has now become a parable for other readers, and Young invites us to see that the truth he discovered in his own recovery is true for every one of us. God is “especially fond” of each of us no matter what the condition of our “shacks”.

In the brief chapters that follow I will use Young’s parable as an occasion for thinking about some significant themes in spiritual recovery. The Shack will provide the fodder but I will not limit myself to Young’s book in developing the themes. Using the novel as a starting place, I will pursue these themes in the context of my own spiritual journey as well as placing them within the Story of God as told in Scripture.

While one aspect of my purpose is to discern whether The Shack deserves the hostility that some have given it, my larger intent is to reflect on spiritual recovery in the context of my own journey to find healing. We will walk along side Mack as he receives a vision of God which wounded people need and want to hear—a vision available in Scripture itself.

So, I invite you to reflect on these themes with me—to process them within your own journey, out of your own woundedness and in relationship with your own God.


Job 3: Sometimes It Has to Be Said

September 13, 2011

The narrator provides the frame of mind with which to read this magnificent and stunning poem—rather than cursing God (which is what the satan expected), Job curses the day of his birth. The narrator’s introduction underscores that the satan was wrong about Job. At the same time, Job wishes he had never been born or at least that he had been stillborn. The poem is a complaint, a lament that culminates in Job’s description of his own miserable situation (there are many similarities between this complaint and Jeremiah 20:14-18).

The poem is organized into three strophes:  (1) the curse in verses 3-10, (2) the contrast between life and Sheol in verses 11-19, and (3) Job’s desire for Sheol in verses 20-26.

The poem is striking for what it says and what it does not say. There is no repudiation of his earlier confessions of faith (1:21; 2:10). It does not address God directly and lays no blame on God. There is no reflection on the idea of divine retribution and no admission of guilt. Many of the themes that will fill the dialogue between Job and his friends are absent from this opening lament.

Instead, Job is wholly focused on his feelings, and they will emerge again and again throughout the Dialogue. There is no theological reflection, no ideological agenda. It is a dramatic, violent, and harrowing declaration of feelings centered on two points:  “I wish I were dead” and “Why am I still alive after such trouble?”

“I wish I were dead.”  Job wishes he had never been born or at least stillborn. He calls for the reversal of creation (Genesis 1:3-5)  itself when it comes to the day of his birth. He even summons the chaotic cosmic powers of the Leviathan to destroy his birthday (cf. Psalm 74:14; Isaiah 27:1).  That day should sink back into darkness, into nothingness, “because it did not shut the doors of my mother’s womb and hide trouble from my eyes” (3:10).

“Why am I still alive after such trouble?” The “why” question fills the second and third strophes. Five times (in the NRSV) Job asks “why” in the space of sixteen verses (3:11, 12, 16, 20, 23). The question expresses a depth of feeling that only those who have experienced tragedy can fathom.  Why was he born? Why did he not die at birth? Why does he yet live to experience the bitterness of the soul? Why did he not die with his children?

These feelings and questions resonate with those who have wished they were dead (and I have been among them at times). We understand the question “why?” and we resent those who piously object to asking the question. Sometimes we are told to ask, “Well, why not me?” But the question still remains, “Why me? Why this? Why now?” These questions express our feelings and they probe divine wisdom.  “Why,” Job asks, “is light given to one who cannot see the way, whom God has fenced in?” (Job 3:23.)

At the same time, Job’s language and conceptual scheme seems dependent upon his responses in the Prologue.  (David Herbison, one of my students at LU, alerted me to this.)  Job remembers that he came from his mother’s womb (1:21) and Job here wishes he hadn’t (3:10-11). Job remembers that Yahweh gives and takes away (1:21) and Job here acknowledges that God gives light to him when he doesn’t want it (3:20) while at the same time Job wants the darkness to seize (same verb as “take away”) the night of his birth (3:6). But what is missing is any note of praise in this poem that is present in his earlier response:  ”Blessed be the name of Yahweh” (much like it is missing in the lament of Psalm 88). Job, in this poem, is focused on lament, complaint and his misery. There is no room for praise now though he does not abandon the praise of God as the dialogue will demonstrate (cf. Job 12:7-13). Sometimes we don’t feel like praising or quoting Psalm 23.

Sheol looks inviting from where Job sits on the dung heap.  [The Hebrew term sheol is not actually used until Job 7:9.] At least Sheol is quiet and restful (3:13)—restful not only for kings and princes (3:14-15) but also for the wicked as well as the weary (3:17-19). All earthly distinctions are obliterated there; we are all equals there, all dead. Given Job’s present “trouble” or misery (3:10, 20), Sheol is desired above life itself. He longs for it like a hidden treasure (3:21-22). His experience of trouble is analogous to the hardships of Egypt (Deuteronomy 26:7)  and the anguish of the servant in Isaiah (53:11), as he uses the same word those authors use.

Job’s embrace of Sheol as a place of rest stands in contrast with his later characterizations (such as Job 10:21-22) as a place of gloom and darkness. Nevertheless, it is better than his present life.  What characterizes this life now is “trouble” (3:10, 20) and “turmoil” (3:17, 26).  Trouble or misery is one of Job’s favorite words to describe his situation (Job 7:3; 16:2). It is also the word his friends will use to describe what evil people do and receive (Job 4:4; 5:6,7; 11:16; 15:35; 20:22).

The conclusion of the poem is stunning. The last word in Hebrew is “turmoil” (or trouble; also in 3:17)–a word that expresses horrifying emotional distress (cf. Isaiah 14:16; 23:11; Joel 2:11). The term expresses a raging, a protesting, a rumbling (see the literal use in Job 37:2; 39:24). Job is distraught, angry and ready to protest. There is no wimpy acceptance here but a protest, a thunderous rumble from the bitter depths of his soul.

This is Job’s lot at the moment. There is no rest; there is no quiet. His fears have been realized and his food/drink is lament. It makes no sense to him; it makes no sense why God gives life to those who sit where he sits. Why does God continue to fence or hem them in? God would be gracious if he would just snuff out his life and send him to Sheol, but God continues to hedge him in.  What was once a divine protection in 1:10 is now perceived as a divine hindrance—the encircling hedge bars Job from Sheol where he wants to go. God has shut the door on death just as he shuts the door on the sea (Job 38:8).

Death seems better than this life. While Job does not choose suicide, he would prefer death to his present existence. That feeling is not uncommon for sufferers. What we hear in Job 3 is an authentic protest against a life filled with “trouble.” Death is better than that kind of life, at least it looks that way from the dung heap.

This is how Job feels. Let Job sit in it; and when I feel that way, let me sit in it. Sometimes we simply need to grieve—without advice, without correction, without platitudes.  Sometimes we simply have to say what we feel and that is the way sufferers grieve, mourn and endure.

Unfortunately, sometimes friends cannot sit with us and they find it hard to “hear” us. Instead, they are “compelled” to speak when it would have been better if they had never said a word.


Meeting God at the Shack: An E-Book

December 3, 2009

Now available on Kindle.

I digress from my “salvation” posts to announce a new E-book. I will return to the salvation theme once my work load decreases a bit which is quite large at the moment as the semester comes to an end at Lipscomb University.

Over the past year or more, I have reflected on William Young’s book The Shack in the light of my own personal journey into the world of spiritual recovery.  I found much in Young’s novel that paralleled my own experience.

Last year I posted on some significant themes I found in the the book–both in terms of pastoral (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and theological assessment (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)–but I have now completed a brief book with short chapters on The Shack as a parable of spiritual recovery.

For those who have read my previous material on God, faith and suffering (such as Yet Will I Trust Him or Anchors for the Soul), this book is a continuation of my journey. I think it is more profound and more mature than my previous writings on the subject. It is, nevertheless, still ultimately inadequate as an “answer” to the struggle of life, faith and peace continues in human hearts, including my own. Nevertheless, God offers peace even when there are no “answer?

The first part of this book discusses spiritual recovery while the second part addresses some of the theological questions that concern many. But even in the second part I am much more interested in how this parable and the theological questions it raises offer an entrance into the substantial themes of divine love, forgiveness, healing and hope. These are the main concerns of the book.

I think the question the novel addresses is this:  How do wounded people come to believe that God really is “especially fond” of them?

Only after reading the book through this lens are we able to understand how Young uses some rather unconventional metaphors to deepen his point.

My interest is to unfold the story of recovery in The Shack as I experienced it through my own journey. So, I invite you to walk with me through the maze of grief, hurt, and pain as we, through experiencing Mackenzie’s shack, face our own “shacks.”

I offer the book with this dedication:

In the past eighteen months many have showered their love upon me….
my employment—Lipscomb University and Harding Graduate School
my counselors—I have learned much about myself through your help
my church—Woodmont Hills Family of God
my bible class—the Sonseekers of Woodmont Hills
my men’s groups—where I continue to learn and practice intimacy
my spiritual care team—God’s gift to Jennifer and myself
my small group—you are all such a joy to me
my brothers and sisters—Mack, Sue and Jack…and sis-in-law Melanie
my nieces and nephews—Allison, Brittney, Ian, Carson, Logan
my mom—you love me no matter what
my daughters—Ashley and Rachel, both faithful and loving
my wife, Jennifer, for whose steadfast love I am deeply
grateful and without whom I would not be able to
share my story in this book.

They have embraced me and through them God has loved me profoundly.
Thank you!


Sad But Unafraid

August 25, 2009

As I have spoken on The Shack in recent months–this past weekend, for example, at the Central Church of Christ in Benton, KY–the title of this post has become increasingly clarified for me: “Sad But Unafraid.”

 [Those who fear the Lord] will have no fear of bad news;
             their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord
.
                                         Psalm 112:7

“Bad news” is sad news. It comes to all of us. We each have our own “Great Sadness,” as Paul Young calls it. And most of us fear “bad news.”

Sadness generates fear. We wait for the next shoe to drop, the next bad thing to happen. As someone close to me recently commented, we begin to feel like the Coyote in the Roadrunner cartoons. Just after a boulder has crushed us, we get run over by a Mack truck and, getting up, we discover the roadrunner has gifted us with an keg of dynamite. It never seems to end.

Life is often sad. This is where Ecclesiastes resonates with me so well.  “What heavy burden God has laid on the human race!” (1:13). Living life in this mode is debilitating, oppressive and futile. No wonder Job wished had never been born (Job 3).

But God feels this sadness too. God weeps, even over Moab (Isaiah 16:9). Jesus weeps and the Holy Spirit groans with us. Yet, it does not oppress the Triune God who feels sadness but is not defined by it.

My problem–indeed, humanity’s tendency–is to allow sadness to become my identity. It has defined me at times. It has colored everything in my life, blinded me to the vibrancy of life’s colors, and distorted my joys. It was often easier to feel nothing rather than risk feeling the sadness again, and thus life becomes bland, grey and emotionless. It is easier to put up a facade than to live comfortably in my own shack.

When sadness becomes our identity, everything else becomes meaningless. In the language of Ecclesiastes, when futility and meaningless become our vision of life, life itself is a burden. When we are stuck in the sadness, we tend to think we would be better off dead.

But this is not God’s intent for us. It is not God’s own life. God’s identity is love.  God weeps, but moves through the sadness because love is God’s identity. The Father, Son and Spirit love each other, honor each other and find joy in each other. They intend their love to envelope us so that we live at the center of their love.

Our true identity is that we are loved by God, formed for love, and are only truly human–truly ourselves–when we love.  Sadness is a false identity, a false idol. 

Knowing we are loved, we are empowered to trust God as we endure the sadness.  Loved, we live through the sadness rather than getting stuck in it. Loved, we do not fear the future. Knowing we are loved, we are no longer afraid of “bad news.”


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