Since I was disconnected from the electronic world, I was unaware of the loss that the John Dobbs family has just suffered. John Robert Dobbs died on the same day as Joshua Mark Hicks….my son in 2001, John’s son in 2008.
Here are my feelings…about God…my prayer to God.
Frankly, God, I am sick and tired of hurt and pain. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with you–to praise you or to raise my fist to your face. I am presently at a total loss as I think of my friend John. I want to yell at you but I also want you to share with John and his family what only you can share.
I am at a loss of what to say to you but I know also that I am powerless to help John. Only you have that power. Only you can be a safe refuge. Only you can surround his family with the people who will be your presence for them. God, please, comfort them.
When, God, will you comfort all of us?! When will you finally and fully demonstrate your utter rejection of our pain and hurt? When will your kingdom fully come so that your will is done on earth as it is heaven? When will you rid your creation of this pain?
I am impatient. I hate how you stand around with your hands in your pockets doing nothing to stop this hurt. I don’t want to hear the explanations, the rationalizations, the minimizations from your creatures trying to defend you…I just want the pain to stop. When will you stop it?
But I am left with no one else to whom I can give my hurt, my lament, my pain. You are all I really have since everything and everyone else is so fragile. You alone are strength, healing and hope. There is no one else or nothing else.
So, God, I will trust you. I don’t like that that is all I really have–it angers me. It seems so intangible and the world is so painful. But I do trust you because you have loved us in your Son and by the presence of your Spirit.
And I will trust that you will lead John and his family through this dark valley, that you will be there with them and that your staff will comfort them. Please, God, relieve the pain.
Please God, send your Son. My patience is running out.
I yearn for the fulfillment of the divine promise:
Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered,
nor will they come to mind….
the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.
Never again will there be in it
an infant who lives but a few days…
They will not toil in vain
or bear children doomed to misfortune…
Before they call, I will answer;
while they are still speaking I will hear.”
Isaiah 65:17, 19b, 20a, 23a, 24